Broken Thought Process Thursday

I'm thinking I'll just write this as the week goes on and then post on Thursday.  Then it's a collection of broken thoughts from the week.

Some weird little bug bit me at the pool.  It didn't look like a gnat.  It was this almost microscopic black thing.  I tried to look it up, it may have been a flower bug.  Anyway, the initial bite stung like hell, and now it itches.  How irritating.  That same day, some sort of beetle flew into my forehead, then when I shooed it away it kept flying back towards me!  I had to swat at it with my book 3 times before it finally gave up.  The bugs were against me that day, I guess.

While I was trying to figure out what bit me, I happened across a random fact.  Apparently the ladybug is Massachusetts's state insect.  I don't think I knew states had official insects.  Wonder what Oregon's is.  *googles*  Oh pretty!  It's a Swallowtail Butterfly.

I like to think in the car.  Especially during a traffic jam on the highway.  Recently I was thinking about the commercial for the newest iPhone, the 3Gs, and how it has voice-activated options.  Suddenly I thought of a wonderful OS update.  Voice-activated keyboard.  You know people are going to continue trying to text while driving, and with the iPhone and its full keyboard, that's just going to cause a world of problems.  At least with a standard cell phone, if you text often enough and turn on autotext you can often text without looking (yes, I know from experience).  Not so on the iPhone.  So it would at least be a good idea to make it safer for people to do something you know they're going to try anyway.

So apparently Ms. Oregon still has some issues at gas stations here.  For those of you who have no idea why I mention that...Oregon does not allow you to pump your own gas.  Anyway, I made a fool of myself earlier.  I forgot to open the gas door, then opened the trunk instead, then had issues with the whole payment process (even though I've used that station before) and then, to top it all off, I drove off without putting the cap back on.  Luckily that station is really close to my house, so when I got home the cap was still sitting on the trunk, so I didn't lose it.  But, ya know...it's not exactly the best idea to drive around without the gas cap.

I'm a big fan of the windshield wiper settings on my new car.  Yes, that's a funny thing to be happy about.  But back in Portland, I was always so annoyed with my 3 limited options.  Intermittent never seemed to be quite right for the situation, so I either just flicked it on and off myself, or the wipers were all the way on.  Now I have 4 different intermittent settings, and then regular speed and high speed.  It's a beautiful thing.

So the other day I was driving through a lovely traffic jam and I spotted this little sporty looking car with a canoe strapped to the top of it.  I thought it was hysterical.  I wanted a picture but I needed to concentrate on traffic.  Oh well.

So I get the Zits comic in my email.  The other day, this ad in the email said "How to write a book in 14 days or less!"  Yes.  That will be a GREAT book.

I've been making an effort to drink more water this week.  I'm not great at drinking enough water.  I don't like it.  I know, it's weird, water has no taste.  I think that's my problem with it.  It's so boring!  But I'm trying.  I've at least balanced out the coffee and soda.  I've also been trying to at least opt for juice instead of soda.  So, anyway.  It's a process.

Next up:  a general question that was posted on Twitter and my response to it.

jason_mraz:  ? of the day What are you afraid to say? What is your heart's desire?

bridgetem: @jason_mraz The answer to both your questions can be found in the lyrics to If it Kills Me.

Yeah, it's true.  There's this guy.  He's been in my life since well before law school.  As have these damn feelings that won't go away.  I moved 3000 miles away, for heaven's sake.  Do I really think something can happen at this point?  Apparently so.  Sigh...

When I start feeling like this, about this particular guy, I tend to try to focus my energy somewhere else.  When I don't have anyone in my life that I can focus on, often I'll drift into "star fantasies" about the very person I sent the above tweet to.  Well, really, I sent it to his "joyologist" Trisha, since she's the one running Twitter for him, but I digress.  It helps me somehow to focus on him instead of the real focus of my energy.  It's true, I imagine that if I ever were to actually meet him, we'd get along swimmingly.  But I don't delude myself into thinking that would actually happen, so there's nothing to get depressed about when my fantasies don't pan out.  Unlike when I go back to Portland and spend time with the guy in question and he DOESN'T sweep me off my feet...yet again.

So, for Mr. A-Z, here's a song for you.

Anna Nalick - In My Head

Under the weight of your wings
You are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are
Nearly as beautiful as I believe

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night

Under the weight of your wings
Should ever we meet on your side of your stereo
I will pretend I know not of your thoughts
And even the way that they mirror my own
I'll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night

Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies
And as I fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies
And as I...

Oh...

I don't
Wanna be fool-hearted
Baby, I'm out
Numbered in my head
I don't
I don't wanna be fool-hearted
Baby, I'm out
Numbered in my head
My head...

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another night

Yeah, your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night

Lonely night...

Under the weight of your wings
I make believe you are all that I'll ever need

All that I need...

She played at the Bite of Oregon one year.  When she played this song at the concert she told us she wrote it for another singer she really liked...you know, before she was a singer herself.  So now I listen to it with that in mind, of course...hence why it seems to fit when I decide to go into star fantasy mode.

Alright.  Those are a lot of broken thoughts for you all to process.  I'm done for now.

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