A process of broken thoughts...

I think it may actually be time for a nap. Meh. I don't like to nap this late, I won't get to sleep later. Even though tomorrow is Saturday, I don't really want to throw off my whole sleep schedule that much.

Jenn...you gotta explain something to me. How is it that these Boston drivers can slip themselves into and out of the tightest parallel parking spots I've ever seen in one go, but put them in a parking lot and they seem to forget how the steering wheel works? Especially when backing out of a space...or rather, backing up but not quite making it, pulling forward a little, backing up again, pulling forward again, backing up...oh, now I have room! It's baffling to me.

Wow, I'm really quite sleepy. Maybe I should nap.

I was not successful with recording my broken thoughts throughout the week. I didn't really have any. I did a lot of thinking in the car, as I always do. But nothing that stuck with me enough to write it down in preparation for this post.

I was also not successful in my water drinking effort this week. Gotta work on that. Especially now that it's finally a little more like summer around here...it's at least warm and there have been more frequent sunny days. But still damp and rainy most of the time. That being said...I am SO glad I'm not still in Portland. 109? Seriously? I would have died.

I went crazy and cleaned my entire apartment last weekend. It started because I swept the living room floor. It's not like anything was gross. it's just one of my OCPD things. Oh, I looked up OCPD. While Wikipedia is not the best source, it is useful for nice summaries of things. Their article is here. So...yeah, it's basically a summary of me. Especially the whole bit about wanting things to be clean and/or setting up a plan to keep things clean, but then other tasks take over and so I become a bit messy...until the other things are done taking over and then I go on a cleaning spree again. Although I'm only messy in terms of clutter. Grossness does not fly. And anything that's put away, from food in the fridge/pantry to dishes to clothes, is put away in an organized fashion. The question is whether it actually gets put away at all. Of course, refrigerated food always does. Back to the whole anti-grossness thing. ;)

It's rainy and thunderstormy today. But tomorrow should be a good pool day. Probably Sunday too. I'm really enjoying this whole having a pool at the apartment thing. I wouldn't go to a public pool just to lay in a lounge chair and read, since you have to pay. So then I'd have to swim with all the other people. And...well...having worked at a public pool, let me just say...you don't want to swim there.

I wonder what I should have for dinner. I kind of want something like Thai or Chinese...but I may be going out for Thai tomorrow so I'll hold off for now. Talking about it with Amanda is probably what triggered that desire anyway. Hmm. I'll have to poke around the kitchen and figure out what sounds good. Actually...sushi sounds good. But I don't know how to make that. I miss Megan. =( She's my sushi buddy...we're so compatible that we always just get a bunch of sushi pieces and rolls to share. Of course, I miss her for more than being my sushi buddy...but still.

Oh, here's Severus. He didn't want me to go to work this morning. So I thought when I got home after my half-day Friday he'd want to crawl up in my lap and stay there all afternoon. But it seems he was mad at me for going to work after he yelled at me to not go, so he ignored me for a few hours. Now he is in my lap. Well, as much of it as he can be, sharing with the laptop and all. I think that means I'm done with my broken thoughts for the day. Read more broken thoughts from My mom, Ginger, Kate, Bree, and, of course, Jenn, who started it all.

Broken Thought Process Thursday

I'm thinking I'll just write this as the week goes on and then post on Thursday.  Then it's a collection of broken thoughts from the week.

Some weird little bug bit me at the pool.  It didn't look like a gnat.  It was this almost microscopic black thing.  I tried to look it up, it may have been a flower bug.  Anyway, the initial bite stung like hell, and now it itches.  How irritating.  That same day, some sort of beetle flew into my forehead, then when I shooed it away it kept flying back towards me!  I had to swat at it with my book 3 times before it finally gave up.  The bugs were against me that day, I guess.

While I was trying to figure out what bit me, I happened across a random fact.  Apparently the ladybug is Massachusetts's state insect.  I don't think I knew states had official insects.  Wonder what Oregon's is.  *googles*  Oh pretty!  It's a Swallowtail Butterfly.

I like to think in the car.  Especially during a traffic jam on the highway.  Recently I was thinking about the commercial for the newest iPhone, the 3Gs, and how it has voice-activated options.  Suddenly I thought of a wonderful OS update.  Voice-activated keyboard.  You know people are going to continue trying to text while driving, and with the iPhone and its full keyboard, that's just going to cause a world of problems.  At least with a standard cell phone, if you text often enough and turn on autotext you can often text without looking (yes, I know from experience).  Not so on the iPhone.  So it would at least be a good idea to make it safer for people to do something you know they're going to try anyway.

So apparently Ms. Oregon still has some issues at gas stations here.  For those of you who have no idea why I mention that...Oregon does not allow you to pump your own gas.  Anyway, I made a fool of myself earlier.  I forgot to open the gas door, then opened the trunk instead, then had issues with the whole payment process (even though I've used that station before) and then, to top it all off, I drove off without putting the cap back on.  Luckily that station is really close to my house, so when I got home the cap was still sitting on the trunk, so I didn't lose it.  But, ya know...it's not exactly the best idea to drive around without the gas cap.

I'm a big fan of the windshield wiper settings on my new car.  Yes, that's a funny thing to be happy about.  But back in Portland, I was always so annoyed with my 3 limited options.  Intermittent never seemed to be quite right for the situation, so I either just flicked it on and off myself, or the wipers were all the way on.  Now I have 4 different intermittent settings, and then regular speed and high speed.  It's a beautiful thing.

So the other day I was driving through a lovely traffic jam and I spotted this little sporty looking car with a canoe strapped to the top of it.  I thought it was hysterical.  I wanted a picture but I needed to concentrate on traffic.  Oh well.

So I get the Zits comic in my email.  The other day, this ad in the email said "How to write a book in 14 days or less!"  Yes.  That will be a GREAT book.

I've been making an effort to drink more water this week.  I'm not great at drinking enough water.  I don't like it.  I know, it's weird, water has no taste.  I think that's my problem with it.  It's so boring!  But I'm trying.  I've at least balanced out the coffee and soda.  I've also been trying to at least opt for juice instead of soda.  So, anyway.  It's a process.

Next up:  a general question that was posted on Twitter and my response to it.

jason_mraz:  ? of the day What are you afraid to say? What is your heart's desire?

bridgetem: @jason_mraz The answer to both your questions can be found in the lyrics to If it Kills Me.

Yeah, it's true.  There's this guy.  He's been in my life since well before law school.  As have these damn feelings that won't go away.  I moved 3000 miles away, for heaven's sake.  Do I really think something can happen at this point?  Apparently so.  Sigh...

When I start feeling like this, about this particular guy, I tend to try to focus my energy somewhere else.  When I don't have anyone in my life that I can focus on, often I'll drift into "star fantasies" about the very person I sent the above tweet to.  Well, really, I sent it to his "joyologist" Trisha, since she's the one running Twitter for him, but I digress.  It helps me somehow to focus on him instead of the real focus of my energy.  It's true, I imagine that if I ever were to actually meet him, we'd get along swimmingly.  But I don't delude myself into thinking that would actually happen, so there's nothing to get depressed about when my fantasies don't pan out.  Unlike when I go back to Portland and spend time with the guy in question and he DOESN'T sweep me off my feet...yet again.

So, for Mr. A-Z, here's a song for you.

Anna Nalick - In My Head

Under the weight of your wings
You are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are
Nearly as beautiful as I believe

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night

Under the weight of your wings
Should ever we meet on your side of your stereo
I will pretend I know not of your thoughts
And even the way that they mirror my own
I'll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night

Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies
And as I fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies
And as I...

Oh...

I don't
Wanna be fool-hearted
Baby, I'm out
Numbered in my head
I don't
I don't wanna be fool-hearted
Baby, I'm out
Numbered in my head
My head...

In my head
Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another night

Yeah, your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night

Lonely night...

Under the weight of your wings
I make believe you are all that I'll ever need

All that I need...

She played at the Bite of Oregon one year.  When she played this song at the concert she told us she wrote it for another singer she really liked...you know, before she was a singer herself.  So now I listen to it with that in mind, of course...hence why it seems to fit when I decide to go into star fantasy mode.

Alright.  Those are a lot of broken thoughts for you all to process.  I'm done for now.

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Broken Thought Process Thursday already?

Traffic was weird after work today.  I was driving along on 95, and it was slow like normal at first, but it usually frees up around Rt. 9.  Well, today it was kind of slow all the way to Dedham.  Not painfully slow, just kind of slow.  I realize only Jenn will have any idea of the distance between the two points where it usually frees up and where it did free up...but oh well.  Anyway, then when I switched to 93, it was slow almost the whole way, and 93 is usually the best part of my drive.  Then I get off the highway and people IN Quincy are driving all weird and causing funky lockups at the intersections.  I realize this is the Boston area with the world-famous bad drivers, but it's usually not that bad.

Oh, oven timer beeped.  Gonna eat my dinner then get back to ya.

Mmm.  Salmon and brussels sprouts.  Two of my favorite things.

I’ve been under too much stress lately.  I can tell because I’m having lots of physical symptoms.  Headaches.   My acid reflux is back.  Yes, I said back.  I got diagnosed a few years ago, I had to take Pepcid twice a day for an indeterminate amount of time, and I was supposed to avoid caffeine and alcohol (yeah, right).  Eventually it went away, but apparently only temporarily.   Oddly, it doesn’t give me heartburn, just makes me constantly nauseous, especially in the morning.  No, I’m not pregnant.  Going by the last time that would have been possible…I’d be huge by now.  And I haven’t had a random angel show up telling me I’m carrying the next Jesus, so that’s out too.  Anyway, back to the Pepcid, I guess.

I know I just need to chill.  I’ve been trying.  But then something else will stress me out.  It’s just been one thing after another all summer and I’m really exhausted.  I’m generally a strong person and I usually handle stress well, but enough is enough.

I did have a good cry last night.  I don’t cry much, so letting it all out was really helpful.

The cat wants my salmon plate.  But I put all sorts of spices on it, I don't want him licking that stuff up.

There’s this random cat who comes to the pool to visit with people.  She looks healthy, her fur is soft, and she never asks for food, so I think she just lives in one of the apartments.  No collar so I have no idea…maybe she’s chipped, that’s a much better idea with cats because they get out of collars so easily.  Anyway, she really likes me.  Cats always do, actually…I have some sort of natural affinity with them.  The other day she hopped up in the chair with me and curled up in a ball.   According to the lifeguard, she’s never done that before.  Cute.

In other pool news, there are these two girls that have been coming who are from Paris.  They're visiting a family member.  I started trying to eavesdrop on their French.  Not easy because of course they’re speaking too fast for me most of the time.  Anyway, the family member they’re visiting (I think I heard him say to someone else that he’s their uncle) seemed to notice my attempts to eavesdrop so now they know that I quasi-speak French.  We eventually discussed how I’m trying to relearn to prepare for my trip to Paris (in just a little over a year!!!) and he suggested I practice with the girls.   That should be useful, what I really need is more immersion-type practice, I can look up vocab and verb conjugation on an as-needed basis but it’s so hard to practice real conversations.  Anyway, if I were to guess, I’d say the girls are 8 and 13.  The 8-year-old seems to need her older sister to translate for her a lot, but the 13-year-old is pretty good with English.  So we’ll see if I can get some practice with them this summer.

I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning (depending on how you look at it).   It was good.  The only disappointing thing is that the best part of the book is how much of Voldemort’s back story you get, but it’s hard to put that in a movie PLUS all the other stuff they had to put in.  So a lot of that back story stuff is cut out.  But you get the parts that will be important in the next movie, which is about what I expected.  I do think it was better than most of the other movies.  Except maybe the third one, that one is just so well done.  At times I think this one was just too light, in comparison to how dark the book is.  There were certainly light moments in the book, but you still felt the underlying tension, like the lightness is there but it’s covered by a shadow.  I wish there’d been more of that.  I think Alfonso Cuarón (the director of the third movie) would have conveyed that better.  But, overall, it was a good movie.

I'm not really attached to any of the contestants on So You Think You Can Dance this season.  I mean, I like them, and there are a lot of FABULOUS dancers this time, but no one has really grabbed my attention as a favorite.  I don't know why.  A favorite has to have personality AND talent, maybe it's just that everyone seems to have a lot of one and not quite enough of the other.

On that note, the results show will be on soon.  I'm going to go throw my plate in the dishwasher and get settled in.

If you can't wait until next week for more broken thoughts, visit Jenn, Ginger, Kate, Bree, or my mom.

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Broken Thought Process...Tuesday?

Yep.  I moved it.  I could tell my thought process was going to be broken and I really couldn't wait for Thursday.

What do you call a break-up that's not really a break-up because you weren't in a relationship in the first place, you were just sort of seeing each other?  Yeah, whatever that's called.  Bleh.  I really liked him, but he was always busy, eventually I got frustrated, and we agreed that instead of trying to fight through the madness of being 3Ls we should just go our separate ways and maybe see where we both are after graduation.  It sucks.  But I know myself, I may not be "high maintenance" or anything but I do like to actually SEE the person I'm...well...seeing.  So it was going to keep frustrating me.

So, now that the alternator is fixed I'm very happy with the new car.  He still needs a name though.  I've gotten the sense that the car is definitely a "he", but I just don't have the right name yet.  Ginger, I thought about Prince, but it didn't feel right.  Thanks though!

I left work early today to go to the RMV and still almost didn't make it in time because it was SO stormy that at one point the cloud cover was so heavy it felt like I was driving at NIGHT in the pouring rain.  So people were slow...but for good reason.   But anyway, the car is registered now.  And Taxachusetts got some more of my money.  Just doing my part to help the state avoid bankruptcy.  =P

The cat is desperately trying to be in my lap even though my legs are crossed and I'm sitting kind of funky and sideways.

I was buying a bottle of wine yesterday, and I think the lady wasn't going to ask for my ID, but I had it out already so she just took it.  If this were any other state, that wouldn't surprise me, especially since I was still in my work clothes.  But Massachusetts is pretty firm about the whole ID checking thing...which is why I had it out.  So I thought it was weird.  I guess at least she didn't tell me she didn't need it and to put it away.

I'm hungry.  But I'm tired and don't want to cook.  I kind of want to just eat the pint of ice cream in my freezer.  I got it yesterday so I could eat it and mope and watch girly movies, but then I was too full when ice cream time came around.  I probably won't eat it for dinner.  But it's tempting.

I forgot how quickly I tan.  During the few spurts of sun we've had I've gone out by the pool.  And occasionally in, but the water is kind of cool so I only do it when I get too hot in the sun.  I have some very noticeable lines already.  I was even wearing sunscreen.  Only SPF 15, but still.

I'm going to dig around in the fridge for some food now.

As noted before, this whole BTPT thing was brought to you by Jenn. Everyone in my favorite writers list to the side does the BTPT thing too, except for Mraz Man. I think he should though, judging by some of his posts it would be right up his alley. ;)

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Broken Thought Process...hey, it's Thursday!

My state of residence may sometimes be less-than-affectionately called Taxachusetts, but at least the state isn't bankrupt. Hell, even Oregon isn't bankrupt and there's a whole chunk of revenue missing from the lack of sales tax!

I totally have the best internship ever. Not only is it a paid internship, but when I went into my e-timecard to fill it out for the week, I found that tomorrow was automatically put in for 8 hours of holiday time! Score!

It's still. F**king. Raining. The sun made a brief appearance over the weekend. Now it's gone again. I think it's supposed to make another appearance on Saturday, which would be nice considering it's the 4th of freaking July. But regardless, I'm tired of the occasional appearances. It's July.

My keyboard is funky. The w key suddenly has decided it wants to type when I just barely rest my finger on the key. I tend to rest my hands on the keyboard when I'm thinking...it is a laptop, where else are my hands going to go? So I end up typing a bunch of random Ws sometimes. It's irritating.

So I finally got a car...and then unfortunately yesterday something went funky with some kind of electrical thing. Completely out of the blue...it had been checked by a mechanic and they said everything was fine. And I could tell everything was fine. It was starting with NO hesitation, and all automatic-type stuff that uses any kind of electrical charge was working fine. Then yesterday, as I was leaving work, various electric things went haywire, then it died. Yay for AAA, at least. I'm gonna be cranky if it's the alternator. But I told the guy I bought it from that it died. He was genuinely shocked, and told me to tell him what the mechanic says. He's been a pretty awesome guy so far, so maybe he'll continue to be awesome about this whole mess. Especially if it's something that should have been found/fixed before. Oh well. Le sigh.

Anyway. With the rain and yet more time sans car I'm rather mopey today. Nothing more to say for now. I hope everyone has a good 4th. In fact, I hope I have a good 4th. I need it.

For more BTPT, see Jenn, Ginger, Kate, Bree, or ma chère maman.

Friday update: The sun made a brief appearance. I was downtown when it happened so I walked on the Common. It was good. =) I saw some dude playing I'm Yours who, from afar, looked and even SOUNDED so much like Mraz that I had to get pretty damn close before I was sure it wasn't. My heart was about ready to leap out of my chest, I swear. This guy was even wearing a Mraz-esque hat! But it definitely wasn't him. He's supposed to be in Belgium today anyway.

Also, I have my car back. It WAS the alternator. Dammit. Time to go all Lawyer Bridgete, do some research and figure out if I have any recourse. I had a paperwork issue at the RMV so I have to see the guy again anyway. He might be nice and just offer, but if not, and if there's something out there to back me up, I plan to find it. ;)

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