Broken Thought Process Thursday

This theme was Jenn's idea.

So last night I pulled out my Knifty Knitter and started a scarf.  Then I ran out of yarn about halfway through.  I hope I can find the same kind when I go get more yarn.  Otherwise I guess I'll finish it off and give it to Severus as a weird, skinny blanket.

I'm so glad So You Think You Can Dance? is on again.  It's the only reality show competition thing I like.  I even like the initial auditions.  Mostly because they don't show too many of the terrible ones.   Just enough to give you an idea of what many people honestly seem to think qualifies as dancing.  I also like that basically anyone who doesn't make it into the top 20 can come back and try again for a later season when they've had more training.

I've been watching really random stuff on TV this week.  I was watching Food Network earlier, until some lady with a really obnoxious Southern accent came on and I had to change it.  Now I'm watching Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet (and I just glanced up at the wrong moment, all I saw was a shot of the back of a meerkat with HUGE balls...relative to his size, at least...lol).  Yes, I'm a little bored.  I've tried to break up the monotony by reading and playing Wii, too, but I'm still bored.  But my internship starts on Monday, hooray!

I really wish Comedy Central would fix the episode descriptions for The Daily Show so that TiVo will only record the new episodes like it's supposed to.  It's not a TiVo problem, it's Comedy Central not properly indicating whether the episode is a rerun or not.  So I have to go in to my list every couple weeks and tell it not to record the ones I know aren't going to be new because they're airing at the wrong time of day. 

On the subject of TV, I'm really angry that basically because NBC didn't promote it enough, Kings has been canceled.  First I don't get to see more of Ian McShane because HBO canceled Deadwood before finishing the story, but now I get him back in another show, that was actually shaping up to be pretty good, and it gets canceled too!  Grrr...

Baby cheetahs!  The show on Animal Planet changed and now it's Growing Up Cheetah.  As a general rule, I love any animal in the Cat Family -- big, small, wild, domestic, any of them.  But Cheetahs are my real favorites.  And apparently they're also really sweet and easily domesticated.  Yes, you guessed it, I want a cheetah.  I know it's really hard to get a license to own a wild animal, and it's really, REALLY hard to get a cheetah because they're not only endangered, but they also don't breed well in captivity...but that doesn't stop me from wanting one.

I'm going to watch the fluffy cheetah kittens now.  I hope you enjoyed the journey through my mind on this Broken Thought Process Thursday.

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Ramblings and musings

I just pre-wrote a post for Father's Day because I was inspired...but obviously it doesn't work here.

I've been feeling very...not withdrawn, necessarily...but something like that.  I've been feeling the need to be with myself.  I've needed to let my mind quiet down, and to let my body sleep without the assistance of alcohol or medication.  I've needed to read novels, and watch TV, and play Wii, and poke around online for hours with no particular goal in mind.  I've needed to properly cook for myself instead of eating processed crap to cleanse my body of all that nastiness.  I've needed to take walks with my camera.  I've needed to sit with my cat.  I've needed to clean my entire apartment, exhausted as I may have been afterwards.  I've needed to watch thunderstorms that are pratically right on top of me and almost jump out of my chair when lightning strikes right outside my window.

Okay, so that last one was kind of happenstance.  But it turns out I really did need to do that, too.

This last term in school left me a giant ball of stress.  My sleep was messed up and I couldn't find the right medicine to fix it (still need to get in touch with the doc again and see what we can work out).  15 credits left me almost a shell of who I had been.  I still have circles under my eyes.  I'm only 26 and I'm pretty sure I have a few faint worry lines.  I was so tense I brought back my old whiplash injury, which I got when I was 17.  Or maybe 16.  It still hurts to tilt my head all the way back, like when I'm gathering my hair for a ponytail.  The knots in my shoulders have gone down, but not much.

It's a good thing I only have one year left.  I'm not sure how much more I could take.

Oh, but wait.  I recently decided that I'm definitely applying to a tax LL.M. program.  Which means more school.  Why?  Because I know that's the law I want to do and if I do the extra work, it'll show that much more commitment to it.  Plus most tax lawyers do it eventually, and with the economy the way it is I figure I'll just do it now so that I can have a bit more assurance that I get the job I want.  If I get a post-grad job, great, the program can be either part time or full time so I can fit it to my needs.  If I need it to be full time so that I have the authorization to borrow (even more) living expenses because, horror of horrors, this next year turns out to not be enough time to lift the hiring freeze in many law firms and other legal jobs, then...well, it's one more year where I'll be at least somewhat covered, even if it is living on more borrowed funds.

But, at least the LL.M. program will be like...a more focused law school.  It'll be stuff I really want to learn.  Not that I take classes I'm not at least mildly interested in...there's a reason I'm refusing to take intellectual property.  But a lot of the time I take classes due to a mixture of interest and because I "should" -- either because of the bar exam or simply because it's good for a well-rounded legal education.  This tax LL.M. will be all interest.  Being actually interested in a subject when I'm trying to study always reduces my stress.

I think there will also be less *other* stress.  I won't be stressing about the bar because I'll have already taken it.  And if I don't get a post-grad job, actually being enrolled in the LL.M. program will help while I'm sending out resumes like mad...again because it shows that commitment to the subject.  Plus the whole actually having the law degree and having taken and hopefully passed the bar exam should help on the job front too...I would imagine there's probably some level of hesitation in this economy when it comes to making offers to 3Ls who haven't actually finished school AND haven't actually become a licensed attorney.  There's always the hope that I'll be doing this part time anyway because I'll have the job.  Either way I hope to be less stressed about the whole employment situation too.

Anyway.  I got oddly focused on things besides eating today.  I ate some...but I have a very high metabolism, "some" is not sufficient.  Better go make some dinner before I metabolize all my energy away.

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Shadow Shot Sunday - Seashell

I just thought it was interesting how something so small and low to the ground still makes a shadow.

By the way, I'm done with my second year of law school. Yay!

Okay, that's all for now. =)

Shadow Shot Sunday - Sunset

This is the view from my bedroom window. Jealous? =P

Shadow Shot Sunday - Sweet Severus

So I'm doing this Shadow Shot Sunday thing. I found out about it through Ginger, but I decided to do it because I've recently realized I let law school sort of preempt my art. My art being photography. So I figured if I had to post a photo every week showing the interaction between light and shadows it might get me back into it. =)

So, anyway, this is kind of an old picture of Severus, but I like the way the sunlight is falling across the blanket, and how his nose is the only part of his face that's illuminated.

I love...

I'm copying Ginger here. I liked the idea of making a list of things that make me happy.

Things I love...
Waking up to find Severus asleep on my stomach.
Severus.
Pajamas.
Days when I have nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Driving with the volume up on the stereo.
Accelerating to highway speed.
My iPhone.
My 3 cameras and their various advantages.
Working in the darkroom.
Singing.
Fresh fruit in the summer.
The perfect summer evening.
The smell of the first spring rain.
Warm sand on my bare feet.
The sound of the ocean.
Good wine with good food.

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26.

Apparently I'm not allowed to study on my birthday, so I'm going to take the time and write a blog.  I'm really conflicted about 26.  I'm excited to start a new year of my life, 25 was alright but it really could have been better.  I like to think of birthdays as the real "new year."  And this year I want to go into it with nothing but positive thoughts about what will come.  So, that is good about my birthday.  But...I guess I never really thought about how 26 really means that my 20s are winding down.  Am I where I wanted to be at this time?  I'm happy with where I am, I'm glad I'm heading down a good career path, even if it took me a bit to decide to do it.  At least I had a quarter-life crisis at 23 and realized I did NOT want to spend my life working at a collection agency, so I took the initiative and decided to go to law school.  And I'll be in my career by the time I'm 30, which is where I would want to be by that time, so career-wise, I'm happy.

As for other life...stuff...well, I've been very undecided about children for a long time so I really didn't think I'd have any by now.  Romantically...I don't know.  There was a time in my life I thought I'd be married or at least on my way by now.  But, I've realized I'm really picky.  I was almost engaged twice, and I was the one who ended both relationships.  (Yes, I know for a fact that both of them were going to propose.  I had a promise ring from one, and the other later informed me that he'd bought a ring.)  Actually, I've ended most of my romantic encounters, from friends with benefits to "dating" to actual relationships.  Generally a pretty definitive "end," even in the friends with benefits category.  So, maybe I thought I'd be married by 26.  But maybe it's good that I'm not.  Maybe it's better that I'm picky about who I date.  Maybe I'm just waiting for it to be right.

On that subject, I am sort of seeing someone right now.  I say "sort of" because we're both really busy so it's been difficult to coordinate.  He's coming to the birthday festivities tonight though, so that's nice.  I do like him.  But it's very new, so I don't have a lot to say about it yet.  Oh, his name is Matt, which Jenn and I have found very funny.

Anyway.  Enough of wondering if I'm where I wanted to be at 26.  26 is here, whether I like it or not.  And I think what I want most out of this year is to just have it be good.  I want to do well in my remaining classes, have good experiences at my last two internships, enjoy the year, and live it up!  And I'm going to start living it up by having a great time at fondue tonight!  =)

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