Sunday, January 18, 2009

You know you're from Oregon when...

Alright, Jenn and Ginger both posted one of these for Massachusetts and Colorado, respectively. Even though I now live in Massachusetts, I'll always be an Oregonian at heart, so I sought out the list I knew existed for Oregon and am posting it now.

1. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash - Yes.  Portland, OR, is currently rated as the Greenest City in the US.  But even the people in Central and Eastern Oregon consistently recycle.

2.  You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means. - Ah, the sun break is a beautiful thing.

3. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee. - Portland and Seattle sort of fight for the title of "most coffee drinkers per capita."

4. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners. - Haha, yes! AC is not usually necessary, and it's a waste of electricity.

5. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant. - Yep. Nice restaurant wear MIGHT be Dockers and a button down for a man, probably a skirt and a nice blouse for a woman, or maybe a dress but nothing too fancy.

6. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal. - I have to say, this was a real tough habit to stop when I got to Boston.

7. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain. - This one's for you Jenn!  Told you those aren't real mountains!

8. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon. - Well, not in a taste-test or anything, but yeah.

9. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette. - I think the only one I might not know is Sequim.  I think that one is in Washington.  As are Puyallup, Issaquah, and Yakima.

10. You consider swimming an indoor sport. - LOL.  For competitive swimming in high school, it's a winter sport done in indoor pools.

11. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark—while only working eight-hour days. - I remember this.  It's not so much because of the time of sunrise, it's because the clouds hide the fact that the sun is up for a couple hours after it actually starts coming up.

12. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho. - Yep.  Even in August.

13. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers." - Hehehehehe.  Showers and rain are different.

14. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation. - Yet another thing that was weird when I got to Boston.

15. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind. - Although it really is boring in Boring.

16. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover. - Yes and yes.

17. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it. - This is one of the Portland-centric ones.  You can see Mt. Hood anytime you have a clear view of the east as long as it's not cloudy that day.

18. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka. - Nah, sometimes you wear your Tevas.

19. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on. - This is true for the men.  The women have a little more sense.

20. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain. - I haven't, but that's because my mountain bike never worked too well, it had trouble with gear-shifting so it would have been no good on a mountain.  Then it got stolen.

21. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from California. - I did not own an umbrella until I got to Boston. I may have had one when I was a child and promptly lost it.

22. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time. - I managed to keep sunglasses for a few years once I got this thing that you clip to your sun-visor that holds the sunglasses.  By the way, you almost never need them outside of the car.

23. You measure distance in hours. - Or minutes, depending on how far you're going.

24. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. - If you have AC, see #4.

25. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat. - Naturally.

26. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall). - Almost Winter and Winter both consist of pretty constant rain.  Or maybe just cloud cover with the threat of rain.

27. "Vacation" means going to Portland for the weekend. - Well, when you're not from Portland.  When you are, "Vacation" is usually somewhere like Southern Oregon or Bend (in Central Oregon).

28. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching. - I've seen my grandfather do this.  In a minivan, no less.

29. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. - Not in the city.  But once you get to the small towns, yes.  The security lights are just so that you can save energy by having a light turn on automatically when you walk outside.

30. You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them. - I had jumper cables in my trunk, and yes, I knew how to use them.

31. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Bi-Mart store at any given time. - Yeah, probably.

32. Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home. - Yeah, everyone is suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder so they're all depressed and don't feel like going anywhere.

33. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas. - Yeah baby. ;)

34. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town. - Again, not in the city.

35. You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians. - Yep. Accident during the first big rain of Fall?  Must be one of those Californians.

36. You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there. - I might be too young for this...

37. You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best India Pale Ale. - Note that it's a coffee bar.

38. You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff. - Okay, I personally don't like beer, so no, but there is a yearly beerfest, I'm sure they sell shirts, so I don't doubt this.

39.  You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a crime-infested jungle
... OR ...
You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb. - This is Portland-centric.

40.  You know what is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it. - Portland-centric again.  It's Will-LA-met.  Not Will-la-MET-tee.

41. You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks. - This has probably happened to me, but I didn't notice.  Two of my friends have Subaru Foresters though.

42. A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car. - Not quite, but almost.  A few branches have fallen off a tree or two near my house.

43. You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano. - When I lived in Forest Grove I was a bit closer to the winery than the symphony hall or the volcano, but yeah.

44. Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks. - I don't have children. I didn't learn to walk in Birkenstocks, but I might be a bit old for that.

45. You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid. - Well, before the real estate market died...

46. You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else. - I hated this rule and actually refused to follow it.  So I can tell you, for a fact, that I've been flipped off for politely tapping my horn when the light has been green for at least 30 seconds.  And then the bitch drove 10 miles an hour until she turned about 3 blocks later, just to piss me off.  Seriously, that did actually happen to me.

47. You consider "etiquette" a foreign word. - What, obviously it originated in French...so...it's foreign, right?

48. You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner. - Once again, not in the city.

49. You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly. - It's generally alright if you lived in Seattle before, usually we're excited that you've "seen the light" and decided Portland is better.

50. You know a bride & groom that registered at REI. - Well I can almost guarantee you that when my friend Liz gets married, she will.

51. If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown. - I-5 and I-405 both have a bridge that goes over the Willamette river.

52. You'd be pissed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water. - No, you'd be pissed if the store was out of Brita filters and only had Pur filters.

53. Every day is casual Friday. - Depends on what you consider "casual."  But offices that have "business casual" dress codes are still rather casual even on non-Fridays.  Friday just means you can wear jeans.

54. Hear the word "ferry" and think of boats and long waits. - This is for your trip up to British Columbia, when you think it might be fun to take the ferry, then on the way back you just drive across.

55. Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix. - I went to high school with a girl whose dad worked for Nike, my ex worked as an intern at Intel, and I think about 5 of his friends also worked at Intel at some point.  And I left the state when I was 24.

56. You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water. - Something is always falling from the sky.

57. You have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner's policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides. - The people who don't check get screwed and end up on the news.

58. You got your senior pictures done with Carole Meyer. - No, but maybe I'm too young for this one too.

59. You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths. - Yep. Being a swim instructor at the local pool is actually a rather lucrative position, and the level that teaches "competition swimming" falls in between a couple of the other levels but is not required for advancement.

60. Obey all traffic laws except "keep right unless passing." - No, it's "chill out in the left lane until someone is tailgating you, pop over to the right lane to let them go, and then go back to the left lane.  Repeat as necessary."

61. You are amazed by an accurate weather forecast. - Depends on your definition of accurate.  It's not hard to predict rain tomorrow, it is hard to predict how much.

62. You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there....once... - This is for the out-of-towners.  Although the panhandlers waiting at traffic signals at the end of the freeway exits are scary.  You have to lock the car doors, they've been known to try to open the door if you refuse to give them money.

63. You know that Burgerville has the best hamburgers...ever. - They also have seasonal blackberry and strawberry milkshakes made with fresh Oregon berries.  And Walla-Walla onion rings.

64. You have only used 5 main freeways/highways: I-5, 217, 205, 26, and 84. - Yeah.  405 should be in there somewhere but it's kind of a weird branch of I-5 that you only drive on when you absolutely have to.

64. You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively. - And the Shining was filmed at Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood.

65. You know where Astoria is. - It's up north, on the bump, by the coast.

66. You think that the Beach is the best place to go for vacation, or just for a day off. - One time I had cabin fever, I think it was February, so I got in my car to go for a drive, and ended up at the beach.

67. You love going to the Original Pancake House....because its original.... - I prefer Elmer's.

68. You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.  - Learned all of this in elementary school.

69. You were excited when the Crater lake, Oregon quarter came out. - The deepest lake in the US!

70. You love The Shins...because they live here. - Eh.

71. You love the Decemberists....because they are from here...and live here. - Eh again. The Portland bands aren't really my type of music.

72. You never go to the Tigard theater anymore since they built Bridgeport. - Why would I go all the way to Tigard when there are plenty of theaters in Portland?

73. You think Bridgeport has terrible parking.

74. You went to Washington Square....just to eat lunch at Panda Express...or Scoozi. - No, but I have done this at Lloyd Center.  Washington Square is kind of out of the way when there's a perfectly acceptable mall right in the middle of Portland.

75. You love the smell of rain. - And I love how it smells different at different times of the year.

76. You are the only person in the line at the grocery store who asks for paper, not plastic (because while paper "kills trees" it is recyclable, and plastic bags will sit in our landfills for the next millennia). - Well, not when you're in Oregon, but when you're out of the state, yes.

77. You understand the joys of spandex as a layer under pants. - lol, mainly for when you're going skiing.

78. You dress in layers (tank top, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, jacket, etc). - You have to be able to strip them off depending on the shifts in weather!

79. You know the exact day you had school off because it snowed like....one inch. - Or work.

80. You have been to camp 18...or just driven by it. - I think my mom told me this closed or burned down or something recently.  This was how you knew you were halfway to the beach!

81. You listen to KINK FM 102. - I miss KINK.  Good station.

82. You remember Ramblin' Rod...and you laugh because you used to watch it....or because you were on it for your birthday. - I was never on it for my birthday, but I did watch it.

83. You play Tony Hawks Pro Skater and recognize Burnside. - I have played Tony Hawk, and I definitely recognize Burnside.

84. You can count the number of movies made here...since there are so many. - I think maybe this is supposed to be "can't."  There actually are a lot of movies that were filmed in Oregon, or at least parts were.

85. You are sad during Christmas because it never snows in the valley. - Once every 10 years or so.

86. You know where the valley is. - Yep, it's where all the good wine comes from!

87. You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas. - Ha, I have been guilty of this in Washington.

88. Your state and local legislatures are republican but your state executives and national representatives are democrat. - Portland has all the voting power for statewide stuff.

89. You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit. - Yeah, it's windy at the beach.

90. You are aware that "The Shining" was filmed at Timberline Lodge. - Ha, what'd I tell ya?

91. You say "pop" instead of "soda." - I did. Then I moved to Boston and felt a little silly so I changed.

92. You believe that Enchanted Forest is Oregon's disneyland. - Well, that and Oaks Park.

93. You think it looks strange when pedestrian signs do not have hula-hoops around them. - lol, it's supposed to look like the road.

94. The red nose on the 'Made in Oregon" sign starts your holiday season. - Yes indeed.  I used to get so excited as a child.  That was when it was still the "White Stag" sign.

95. You drive on 'the Banfield'. - And still have no idea why it's called that.

96. You've seen the Elvis impersonator at Saturday Market. - I've been to Saturday Market many times, but I've never seen him.

97. You've been offered pot on Hawthorne. - No, but I have seen "water pipes" for sale at the local convenience store.

98. You've been in or heard about a pillowfight in the middle of downtown. - Too young again?

99. You smile at people you don't know as you walk by them on the sidwalk. - I still do.  I scare the Bostonians.

100. People call you a hippie and you just smile because you can't hear them over the grape-nuts. - Well, I'm not a hippie.  The true Oregon hippies are pretty damn hard core.

101. You make subtle remarks about Washington drivers, but save your real road rage for California drivers. - Yeah. Washington drivers don't know how to merge and forget u-turns are illegal in Oregon, but I'd still rather drive next to them than one of those Californians.

102. You know The Shane Company's radio commercial word for word. - "Across the freeway from the Washington Square Mall, on the west corner of highway 217 and Scholls Ferry Road.  Open Monday through Friday till 8, Saturday and Sunday till 5...also available online at shaneco.com."  I can even hear the guy's voice.

103. You've witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like its no big deal. - Ha, I've never seen this, but it wouldn't surprise me.

104. You were thrilled that Scott Thomason finally stop putting his face on the back of his cars. - Yeah, now he has some weird cupid thing with a key instead of an arrow.

105. You consider it a good tan when you're no longer "pasty," just "pale." - I tan well and this STILL applied to me.
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5 comments:

kate said...

Wow, that's a lot. By the way, you were right. The Twilight series rocked. Even my literary snob of a sister enjoyed it :)

ginger said...

the shining was also filmed in estes park, colorado at the stanley hotel. :) i didn't know they used multiple shoot locations. i thought the whole thing was shot at the stanley.

looks like the main difference between colorado and oregon is the precipitation...there's also the volcanoes.

Bridgete said...

Yep. Little known fact about The Shining. Except among Oregonians. =)

Anyway, yes, it looks like those are the differences.

Oh, and Kate, I'm a bit of a literary snob myself, so I'm glad to know that other literary snobs agree. =)

Jenn said...

So many have zero meaning to me but I am laughing anyway because of your comments!

7. I fully wish for nothing in this area to ever erupt so I'll take your chop-busting on our hills ;) What about Mt. Washington though?

18. Yup, we do that here too but not to hike. In fact this week you are very likely to hear at least 3 people say "wow, its so warm today!" when the temps make it into the upper 30's simply due to the recoculous temps from last week.

25. Here its over a ski suit.

46. This kills me because here if you do the light honk to tell someone the light is green most of the time they wave to thank you & step on it so more cars behind them can get through the light lol.

64 (part 2). The Goonies is my all time favorite movie so when a friend went to Oregon on vacation she sent me a postcard with the 3 rocks. I still have it and plan very seriously to travel to Astoria one of these days just to see it. Didn't know that about The Shining though.

91. Most of the time you can just order "Coke"

Bridgete said...

Alright Jenn. I'll give you Mt. Washington. But just barely, since even St. Helens, AFTER the eruption in 1980, is over 8,000 feet. =P

Most of the volcanoes have been dormant for hundreds of years, you have nothing to worry about! lol. No, really, we have geologists monitoring the volcanic activity, so if one of the volcanoes starts acting up we get fair warning. I remember hearing some news about "increased activity" on Mt. Hood a few years ago. Nothing came of it though.