Eating, Praying, Loving

Well, I finished reading Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia, by Elizabeth Gilbert, for the book club that Ginger started. What I found most interesting is not necessarily the book itself (although I definitely enjoyed it), but rather the fact that it was so the right time for me to read this book. Here I was, going on a trip to Paris, where I indulged in food and wine more delicious than anything I've ever had here in the states, even in Boston's most fabulous restaurants (and Bostonians love their food). I ate. While in Paris, I entered Notre Dame Cathedral for the first time in my life and the energy of God or the Universe or whatever you want to call it overwhelmed me, to the point where I had to just sit and let it wash over me. Then I lit a candle to pray for a job and I'm now trying to patiently wait for that to come along. I prayed. And I fell head over heels for my roommate with a sudden rush of feelings so strong I wondered where I'd kept them the past six months. I love.

This book taught me a lot about how to look at those experiences I've just had. First, that allowing pleasure for pleasure's sake, without allowing in worry and regret and whatever else, is an art that, as an American, I may never achieve. But after spending a week in Paris where nearly all I did was go sightseeing, eat, and drink wine, I've learned that I want to try. I want to figure out a way to be a lawyer while still taking time to actually enjoy my lunch, instead of scarfing it down in front of the computer screen because that memo just can't wait for me to digest. I'm not sure how well that will work since I just had to pick a profession that always needs something done yesterday, but both my experience in Paris and my new understanding of true pleasure from the book have made me want to try.

Second, I've been weird about religion for a long time now. I've felt the Universe work for me many times before. One moment that comes to mind is when my mom was almost stuck in Portland for Christmas due to a huge snowstorm in the NW. I remember when she told me her flight was canceled...I hung up the phone and fell to the floor in tears, screaming to the sky that I don't care about the presents, I don't care about anything but having my mom with me for Christmas and DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!? About 5 minutes later, she called back and said her flight had been reinstated and she was on her way. Then there was when Severus was really sick last summer. He had a bladder infection, which can be really dangerous in a male cat. I remember getting him on the antibiotics and they just didn't seem to be DOING anything for the first three days. I was terrified, and I didn't know what else to do. So, I prayed. I prayed to anything that I could think of. And he got better. And, most recently, I prayed that Christen would be okay and that her headaches and whatnot would be nothing. Well, the tests all came back healthy, and in the meantime she realized she only felt sick at work. So, she quit, and she's already starting to feel better.

The thing is, my prayers always involve tears. I'm always sobbing about something or other and begging for help. But I guess that's how it started for Liz. And I liked that Liz feels a lot like me in that she knows there are many paths to who she calls God. I also liked that she calls the being God without attaching the Judeo-Christian ideals to it, she just says it's more comfortable and familiar for her. I'd been really struggling with what to say when I'm praying. I've even been struggling with calling it praying. I still don't like organized religion, with all the rules and right and wrong, so the words associated with the most familiar group of organized religions in the US sometimes bother me. But I think I might go ahead and adopt Liz's idea, that I'm just saying God because it's familiar and easy. I think that will help my attempts at prayer, whether I do them every day or just when I need something. On that note, I liked the bit in the book with the petition to resolve the whole divorce thing, and then the resolution came. I mostly liked when Liz said something to the effect of, I can't just go to God when I want something, and her friend said, "why not?" This makes sense to me. If you're always devoted in your heart, if you're always aware of and grateful for the forces at work, helping you out, then what's wrong with only praying when you need or want something? It's like...well, okay, I have wonderful parents who never guilt me into calling more often or whatever, so this comparison may not hold true for everyone, but I'll use it anyway. It's like when I call my mom or dad for help with something, and they just do it. No stipulations (except maybe paying back borrowed money), no guilt, just love. And I don't have to tell them every single day that I love them, they know I love them. It's in my heart, always. So, why can't God be the same? And, even better, help to the greatest extent possible, for God, should be infinite!

And finally. I have loved before. Years ago. I was young and didn't handle it well. And then some things happened and I was intentionally celibate for two years because I couldn't even deal with the idea of sex. The celibacy broke with a little summer fling that I had just before leaving Portland for Boston to come to law school. He was actually a really great guy and the perfect person to have chosen for the purpose he served -- to bring me back to a place where someone can be interested in both physical AND internal beauty (some of the issues from before). Then there were a few "almost lovers," to quote Almost Lover, by A Fine Frenzy, through the three years of law school. Nothing really ever panned out, for a variety of reasons -- sometimes my issues, sometimes the guy's issues, sometimes both. And then there's now. It's been six years since I've been in a RELATIONSHIP.  I've grown up a lot.  I've learned a lot about myself.  I've learned a lot about what I need and what I want, as well as what I don't need and what I don't want.  I've fumbled around in the dating world and decided against a lot of potential flings/relationships/etc. because I knew they wouldn't be healthy for me.  And then, when I found a person who might be right, I finally gave myself the green light to go ahead and fall again.  I finally told myself I'm ready for the unbalancing balance of love.  And now I'm here, and I'm happy with my south Brazilian (another coincidental similarity to Liz).

So, thanks for the perfect timing, Ginger.  Now, on to the next book!

Update on life

First of all, I need all my bloggy friends to send prayers/healing thoughts/whatever you prefer to my best friend, Christen.  She's been dizzy, nauseous, and has had a headache for about two weeks now.  She went to the doctor, they gave her some anti-nausea stuff with directions to use it until Wednesday and directions to call if the symptoms came back...they did.  So, she has to go back to the doctor, they have to check more things, and I'm terrified and helpless.  So, good thoughts, hope that it's either nothing or something simple, like, maybe she needs a new eyeglass prescription.

In other, happier news...totally dating my roommate now.  Crazy, right?  Whatever, I've known him for six months now and for most of those six months, the thought was in the back of my mind and I kept finding ways to push it away because I figured it was a bad idea.  Who knows, maybe it's still a little crazy, but I couldn't keep ignoring what I felt or inventing things that "annoyed" me so that I could try to push the feelings aside.  He's a nice guy, the last few days he's been totally respectful, and before I went ahead with anything I laid all my relationship issues on the table and he was really understanding about it all.  We decided to maintain separate bedrooms for a while to try to make it a little less like we're "living together" even though, well, we are.  So, there you go.

And, on another happy note, my mom and I depart for PARIS today!  I'm so excited.  I can't even describe how excited I am about this.  On that note, I'd better go pack!

Spicy Taters and Eggs!

Okay Ginger, here's my recipe for the month.  I didn't even think to take a picture, I was just experimenting and then when I was almost done eating it I thought, well, this should be my recipe this month!

So, some background.  When I was a kid, my dad used to make this thing for breakfast that he called Taters and Eggs.  Like the name indicates, it's sliced up potatoes and scrambled eggs, all mixed up in the pan.  Pretty simple, but I've always loved it.  I'm not usually a fan of the sweet breakfast foods like pancakes, so when I wanted something "special" this is always what I craved.  Well, today I went to make some, but I decided to kick it up a notch and make it a bit spicy.  I thought, hey, I like spicy potatoes, and people put Tabasco sauce on their eggs all the time so I can't imagine they'd interfere with the spice.  Anyway, it was delicious.  So, I'm going to share the recipe.

Ingredients (for one serving):
One medium russet potato (or whatever other kind of potato you'd like to use, just make sure it's approximately the same size as a medium-sized russet potato).
Three eggs
Olive oil, about 1/2 a tablespoon
Chili powder
Paprika
Cayenne pepper


Wash and peel the potato (or don't peel it, whatever).  Cut it into lengthwise quarters, and then thinly slice up the quarters.  You want the slices to be somewhere around 1/8 inch, thin enough to cook quickly in a frying pan.  When you've started slicing the potato, start heating the olive oil in a ten-inch skillet.  When it's hot and the potatoes are sliced, throw them in and get them cooking.  When they have a nice even coating of the olive oil, grab your chili powder and give your potatoes a nice, even, light coating, then stir the potatoes around to get it all over all of them.  Chili powder is a pretty mild spice, as spice goes, so don't worry too much about accidentally going overboard.  Take the paprika and lightly coat the potatoes and stir them again, just like with the chili powder.  Then take your cayenne pepper and really, really, lightly dust the potatoes with it and stir them around again.  The cayenne pepper is the one you want to watch out for, go too crazy and those will be some SPICY potatoes.  Of course, if that's what you want, then go for it, just keep in mind that I like spice and even I have nearly out-spiced myself with the cayenne pepper.

Once you've gotten the potatoes all spiced up, keep moving them around every minute or so to make sure they cook evenly.  As soon as they're just about fully cooked, turn the heat down to medium and give the pan a minute or two to cool down.  Once the pan cools, take your three eggs, whisk them up in a bowl like you would for scrambled eggs, throw in a dash or two of salt and get that mixed into the eggs, then pour them in right on top of the potatoes.  Quickly stir the whole mixture and get the eggs fully cooked, for about a minute or so.  Immediately remove the pan from heat and serve.  Enjoy!

Ginger, I know you can't have eggs.  I don't know how you'd improvise scrambled eggs, but you could always just make the spicy potatoes on their own as a side dish.  =)

Happy (Late) Independence Day!

It's been a while since I blogged.  I need to get back to the studying since I took basically the whole weekend off for the holiday, but I wanted to quickly post and say hi to everyone.

So, remember the guy that I said I had a date with in my last substantive update?  Well, I'm still seeing him.  As we can find the time, at least.  Between my studying and his job as a paramedic, it's been difficult.  But we're still making an effort, at least.  So, I'll tell you more about how that's going when he and I get the chance to really spend some time together.  So far I like him, but that's about all I know.

I had fun with Jenn and Matt last night at the fireworks.  It was weird though, there was this abnormally long gap between the 1812 Overture and the fireworks show.  So there we were getting irritated and bored while waiting for the fireworks to start.  But it finally started and I got some really good fireworks photos this year.  I'll have to remember that spot for later years if I want to go back for more photos.  Next year I might stay home and find out how much I can see from my balcony.  I've heard from various Quincy residents that if you have a balcony that faces the city (like I do) you have a pretty great view.  Not a photographer's view, but now that I finally got the photos I want, that's fine.

What, you want to SEE the photos?  Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist.  Here's my flickr album:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/bridgetem/sets/72157624238854095/

There are some fireworks from previous years in the same album...you'll know which ones are this year's from my oh-so-creative title on each one:  July 4th, 2010.  =)

The studying is going quite well.  We had a practice MBE (multi-state bar exam...the multiple choice part) the other day.  I actually missed physically going in to the practice day because I slept really poorly the night before, but I did it at home and timed myself...and made sure to sit at my desk, rather than on the couch or something.  I know, I missed the experience of being in a huge room with a bunch of other test-takers, but it's not like I haven't taken standardized multiple-choice tests before.  Anyway, supposedly, the average national score is 105 on the practice day.  Passing on the bar exam is roughly 128 (raw score, not scaled).  My score on the practice day was 130.  So unless being in a room with a bunch of other people is going to distract me more than the cat coming up and meowing at me or climbing in my lap or hopping on the desk and trying to lay on the testing booklet, all I need to do is maintain that score, rather than improve on it.  Hooray!  As for the essay day, which is Massachusetts only, I'm pretty well set there too.  We've been turning in practice essays to barbri for them to grade and give back to us...so far I've gotten a little above a 4 on each essay I've turned in, and the goal score per essay is a 4 or a 5 (out of 7 possible).  The score is mostly a reflection of organization and at least demonstrating adequate knowledge of the law.  As I've learned from the practice essays, adequate does not mean perfect, because I know both the ones I turned in were not perfect.  So, yay!

And, with that, I should go study now, so that I don't lose all this progress.  At this point, I probably won't write again until after the exam, so...see you all when it's over!

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Spicy Teriyaki Tuna

Okay, this is for Ginger's Asian Style Noodles meme. I'll admit, I've never made it with noodles, always with rice. I didn't have time this month to try it with noodles, but since I invented the Spicy Teriyaki Tuna part ages ago, I figured this is the right time to share. So, because the tuna has a teriyaki sauce, I think it will go well with udon or soba noodles. I was personally going to go with soba, had I managed to actually make it this month. I was going to cook them up and then just put the Spicy Tuna Teriyaki on top, sort of like when you go to a bento stand (if any of you have ever done that...).

So, for the main deal, the key to this is actually a specialty package of tuna from StarKist. It's StarKist Tuna Creations - Sweet & Spicy Tuna. My inspiration actually came from the recipe on the back, but I didn't have everything necessary and I was trying to just throw together some food with what I had in the house. So, I looked in the fridge and discovered I had a bottle of Kikkoman Teriyaki Sauce. I thought that would work...and it did. It's a kind of thin sauce, so if you like a thicker sauce, you might want to mix it with some cornstarch first. Or just make your own, or find a thicker pre-made sauce. But that's up to you. So now, without further ado, the recipe:

1 package StarKist Tuna Creations - Sweet & Spicy Tuna
1/2 to 1 cup frozen corn (I always just throw it in until it looks right)
2 to 3 cups frozen broccoli cuts (again, I just throw it in until it looks right)
Kikkoman Teriyaki Sauce (or your own teriyaki sauce, or any other teriyaki sauce you like)
1 Tbsp. cooking oil - sesame or vegetable oil both work well, but I've used olive oil before when that's what I had and it doesn't end up tasting like olives, so it should be fine.

Prepare noodles according to directions on the box. Set aside. Heat the oil in a wok or large skillet on about medium high. Stir fry the broccoli until it's a bit warm, around two minutes, and then add the corn and warm it up for about a minute. Add the tuna packet and stir fry for one minute, then add the teriyaki sauce. I always just eyeball it, so I don't know exactly how much is in there -- I'd say add sauce until there's enough for it to kind of boil around the tuna and corn, and the broccoli pieces are at least partially covered. Let it simmer for a couple minutes until everything is hot, then remove from heat. Spoon over noodles. My suggestion would be to keep the noodles and tuna separate so everyone can decide on their own sauce-to-noodle proportion...but that's how I like to serve spaghetti too, so maybe that's just me. =)

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And...done.

Well...I graduated.  And now I have to prep for the bar.  So...I'm done, but not done.  But graduation was a great day.  I really did work hard to get there, so even though I now have more work ahead of me, I still feel good about what I've accomplished so far.

All the lawyers here call the state "Pass-achusetts", so I'm hoping that means I shouldn't be concerned.  But it's still going to be two more months of intense studying...Pass-achusetts or not, I have to study for it.  The only reason so many people pass here is because of how Mass deals with the scoring -- rather than say you failed because you just missed the mark on one part of it (essay or multiple choice), if you can make up for it on the other part and your overall score is good enough, you pass.

In spite of how busy I'm going to be, apparently I have a date...sometime this week.  We haven't made the official plan, but he's been texting me and stuff so I don't think he's going to forget about me, lol.  I met him last night, he's a friend of Vanessa's...or maybe a friend of one of her friends.  Whatever.  He's nice and interesting, and he seems intelligent.  He's a paramedic, which is pretty cool (and with how often I like to hit my head/sprain my ankle/otherwise injure myself, that could be useful, lol).  And when he asked me to dinner, I warned him that I'm not one of those girls who just eats a salad at dinner and he told me he thinks that's hot, lol.  I'll just have to warn him that I may be short on time, especially at the end of July.  I have this tendency to meet guys when I'm not looking for one because I'm going to be busy or I'm moving across the country or something, so I've learned to just go with it.

Oh!  Part of commencement week was a scavenger hunt all over Boston.  It was on Tuesday, which was, of course, the hottest day EVER.  Okay, not ever, but it got up to like, 90.  Anyway, so my team didn't win, we ran out of steam (and so did Abby, Amanda's chihuahua) so we didn't get nearly as much stuff as some of the other teams.  BUT, we ended up winning most creative with our interpretations for the photo requirements, so we still each got a $15 iTunes gift card, woo!

Well, I think that's about it.  I might be back to complain about bar studying, but I'm not sure.  I'll at least try to keep you all posted on the new boy.

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And you all thought I'd fallen off the edge of the world...

Nope, I'm right here.

I suppose all the readers I know about are also my FB friends...or at least email buddies (hi Nikki!), so you're probably all aware that I didn't actually fall off the edge of the world.  But, regardless, I guess it's time for a post.

Let's see, where did I leave you?  Oh, right, okay, so I've had two choir concerts since last time.  The March one was the fun one, and I got to be part of a group of 10 singers doing "California Dreamin'", so that was a blast.  If you'd like to see that (and the rest of the concert), the whole thing can be found on YouTube here.  Then our May concert was actually just this last Sunday.  For that, we did Brahms' Requiem.  It went pretty well, except that about halfway through, apparently some little old lady complained about being cold, so they shut all the windows in the church...nearly killing half the soprano section (those high notes can really make a person light-headed), as well as a few members of the other sections.  I'm surprised I wasn't among those who almost fainted...I'm prone to overheating, AND I'm a soprano.  Anyway...I mean, I'm all for making sure the audience isn't freezing, but there has to be a better solution than nearly killing the performers.  Perhaps by shutting SOME of the windows and finding a Snuggie for the little old lady.

So, that's choir.  What else?  Oh, the roomie and I are getting along swimmingly.  When he's home in the evenings (only Sunday-Tuesday right now because he works in a restaurant) we've taken to sitting in the living room instead of retiring to our separate bedrooms right after dinner.  Severus seems to like the company in the daytime, too, so it's good all around.  Oh, and he's still cooking and being helpful with cleaning and such...and still doesn't seem to mind my little OCD things.  He just puts stuff where I tell him it goes and that's that.

The job search is still pretty fruitless...but I'm staying calm only because I have that possible back-up plan from my 4th internship.  A couple weeks ago I mailed in some stuff for what I've been calling the perfect job -- it's a Junior Tax Attorney position at a small, tax-only firm...and they do litigation as well as transactional stuff, so I wouldn't have to give up on getting to litigate just to do tax law!  So, we'll see how that goes, I'm crossing my fingers.  And I'm checking postings on a weekly basis just to see what's there. 

As for school...I'm in my last week of classes, next week is finals, and then the following week is grad week, culminating in commencement on the 28th.  It's so close...but it hasn't really hit me yet.  I think it might have something to do with the bar exam looming just after.  I'm done, but I'm not really done.  This would be why the celebratory graduation trip to Paris is in August.  Well, that and the fact that BarBri starts the week after graduation.  For some, it starts the week OF graduation, but I happened to sign up for the video lectures as opposed to the live ones.  Not planned, I just wanted to take the evening class...for two reasons.  One, now I get to lay by the pool with my BarBri books piled around me during the day, and two, it really fits better with my studying style, because I know I won't study AFTER going to a class in the morning, but I will study before.  Especially if I isolate myself at the pool with no facebook or TV.  You'd think all that water might distract a swimmer like myself, but I know from experience that the pool at my apartment isn't really all that warm, so it feels great for about 5 minutes on a really hot day, then I get cold and have to get out and warm up in the sun again.

Speaking of Paris...the trip itself is all paid for, and money from family members has started to appear in my registry on gogift.com for spending purposes once my mom and I are there, so that's exciting.  I've been practicing my French -- a friend at school went to Switzerland for one of her internships so we had a "French Lunch" last week.  I held my own pretty well...she definitely had to remind me of a few words, and my verb conjugations in actual conversation could use some work (meaning, I know how to conjugate the verb for the pronoun I just used, but I have to think a bit too long about it) but I certainly did better than I thought I would, so that was great.

Umm...oh!  My 27th birthday came and went.  The Boston party was a blast, as was the birthday weekend in DC.  Although getting on a plane twice in 4 days gave me a cold, and then right on the heels of that the pollen count in Boston jumped to record levels (according to various sources), and the pollen in spring is the kind of pollen I'm particularly allergic to, so I've been sniffly, stuffy, and sneezy ever since.  But I still had a good birthday so that's what counts!  =)

Well, I think that's about all the time we have today.  I'll try to write again sometime around graduation...before I start drowning in bar prep.

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